About Chris Owen: Relationship Mentor and Mojo Coach
The Perfect Marriage? – No!
Despite being an OTT extrovert, when I said “I do”, I had no idea I wasn’t the best communicator. And Introvert Phil wasn’t too flash at communicating either. So, I guess it was inevitable that, sooner or later, the skill gap was going to drop us into deep doo-doos!
Like most couples, we had been totally besotted with each other at first. Then came kids and careers, and money worries, and less sex, and more fights. That led to cold wars, and life was no fun. We still loved each other, but sometimes struggled to like each other! Most of all, we had NO idea how to dig ourselves out of the hole we were in, let alone be happier.
We were on our own rollercoaster, but we hadn’t done up our safety belts!
Finding Ways to Improve Our Relationship
With all that messiness in our relationship, we were lucky enough to attend a retreat weekend. That helped us find a better path. It meant lifelong learning about ourselves, and our “us”. Of course, one weekend wasn’t going to undo all our issues. We still had hard lessons to learn, and to this day we are still learning.
Things like how to:
- own our own shit,
- create a safe space for honesty and vulnerability,
- fight fairly (most of the time),
- take responsibility for our needs, actions and choices, and also how to heal our relationship when it gets all tatty and scarred.
Afterwards, we discovered that it’s still bloody hard work. But, it was easier when we hung out with people who also valued working at their relationships (in good times, as well as in crap.) Now you can see why I want to offer that sort of support to couples here at Relationship Mojo!
A Relationship Mentor Not a Guru
Now here’s a bit of excruciating honesty for you! Despite all my training, reading, research, teaching and years of concerted effort, I can still lose it! I can crack a tantrum, act like a martyr, or hold a grudge, given the right circumstances! Thankfully, that just shows I am imperfect, like everyone else.
But, when I allow the best “me” to show up, I can also be assertive and not aggressive, vulnerable and not wary, honouring and not disrespectful, kind and not cruel. That’s when the unconditional love for Phil (aka SweetP) comes to the surface!
Few, if any, of us learn that at home or at school. I had to learn that, when the chips were down. I still picture that time as us hanging out of the rollercoaster, and heading for a fall!
So, who is Chris Owen?
All of that happened 17 years into our now-40+ year marriage! (And I still look vaguely like I’m 35! Oh alright, I admit I can be vain and delusional!) I am the mother of 3 sons (Oh the smell of those rooms back in their adolescence!) two of whom are now married.
I confess to being an OVERINDULGENT Oma to two gorgeous grandchildren, and also to my furry Office Assistant, Sally (aka Princess Feathersword) the WonderLabradoodle!
I have quirky passions for reading crime fiction, traditional celtic music, tracing my family history, walking on the beach with my Lover, and NEVER drinking coffee!
Why a Relationship Mentor?
In an earlier career, I was a professional carer, a nurse! I spent many years immersed in the world of couples, learning to survive and thrive through difficulties. They were couples struggling to adjust to parenthood, and sometimes sick children. In latter years, they were couples coming to terms with the grief and enormous stress of infertility and treatment.
Then I studied education, counselling and coaching.
Why? Because I wanted to help people like them, and like us. People who still loved each other, but life was hampering them from being their version of “best couple” they could be.
I believe in “think global, act local”. I apply that when I think about my idealistic desire for more peace and harmony in our world. That’s why I help people have more peace and harmony in their relationships and families. And best of all, model happy healthy relationships to their kids.
And so to Relationship Mojo
That’s where I help couples plaster up the holes in their learning about relationships. On the Mojo, I can give them food for thought, and support while they get a bit of confidence up. I want to see them keep aiming for the healthy lifelong relationships, that we all so richly deserve.
Wouldn’t YOU like to join us?
Why not start by joining me over on the Relationship Mojo page on Facebook?
Or, perhaps you’d rather subscribe to get my blog posts in your email box?
If you’d like to leap in, then come and join us over at the closed Facebook Group The Mojo Lounge where we hang out over a virtual wine or coffee and talk relationships in safety.
After all you can always leave if you don’t like it. But you might gain a whole lot more than you think!