Why is Communication In Relationships So Important?Problems with communication are one of the most common concerns clients bring to me. Click To Tweet
Have you ever heard yourself saying to your partner:
- Well I’m not a mind reader, you need to tell me!
- You don’t ever talk to me!
- How was I to know that?
- You’ve never told me that!
Or, confessing with a twinge of embarrassment to your mother or your BFF:
- Our communication isn’t very good.
- Joe/Georgina is not a very good communicator.
- We don’t talk about anything important.
- We’ve never talked to each other very much.
- I’m not sure what she/he wants.
Well, you’re not ALONE!
What Can Happen?
You start out madly in love. You talk about all kinds of things, many of them not important! Then you settle into your ongoing relationship. Perhaps there’s a mortgage, and maybe kids. Possibly there’re careers that demand time and focus. Suddenly you realise time has crept on. Those wonderful explorations of your ambitions and dreams, those fascinating conversations about what makes each of you tick are gone. They’ve all petered out, in the face of exhaustion, limited time and competing priorities.
It’s easy to forget that article you read somewhere, where some sociological/psychological researcher talked about the strong positive correlation between relationship satisfaction and effective communication in relationships. And that bit about how dysfunctional, or a total lack of communication, can doom a relationship far quicker than any of us would ever have imagined.
How Did We End Up Like This?
But the problem is, sometimes we don’t know we’re a bad communicator, because we don’t know what we don’t know!
And like so many parts of our life, we just get into habits. Good habits and bad habits. We keep doing what we’ve always done. Sooner or later when it’s not working, we have to weigh up which is worse, the pain of failure or the pain of changing.
It’s the same with communication. We tend to think that how our family communicated is the right way! And we don’t see any need to change, until it slaps us in the face that it’s not bloody working! And often there are two of you doing that and seeing things from your family’s perspective.
“Every time I do or say ____, I end up in the poo with my partner! FFS what is wrong with her/him? ”
Hmmm! None of that is a recipe for a happy household, is my guess!
How Can We Fix It?
So here at Relationship Mojo, we’ll continue to focus on delivering everyone the information they need.
We want to help you develop effective communication that grows your couple connection, and models… Click To Tweet I hope that this simple effort will be part of the legacy you and I leave for our children and grandchildren.