Why is Healing Relationships So Important
Because, two individuals will inevitably have different ideas, approaches and struggles, that will conflict at times. We are all flawed human beings. (Yes, who’da thunk it?) As flawed humans, sometimes our words and actions can
consciously or unconsciously hurt our beloved. Conflict (e.g disagreements, arguments, fights) is an obvious source of hurt for us all.
- What do you two fight about in your couple life?
- How often do those fights have monotonously regular themes?
- How well do you think you resolve those disputes?
- How often do harsh or critical words cause pain between you?
- How do you feel after these events?
- What happens to life in your household after these times?
Did quick answers to those questions pop into your head? Then perhaps you can see now, why healing in relationships is important!
The Dance of Healing Relationships
Hurts and healing are the opposite sides of the same coin.
Inevitably, we can’t talk about healing without talking about fights, hurts and forgiveness as well.
Sometimes our conflicts may end up as minor arguments, or major fights. Sometimes careless words will tear open old wounds in our partner, that we may not even be aware of.
Here at Relationship Mojo, you will find plenty of information about fighting fair. But, it’s not the fight that is really important. What will be the true test of maintaining a healthy relationship will be how you heal the relationship afterwards. And healing is like a tango, sometimes complex and always a dance!
Conflicts in couple life are pretty run-of-the-mill. They are also unpleasant, sometimes hurtful, sometimes overblown, sometimes ridiculous, often pointless and occasionally highly destructive!
When I hear people say they’ve never fought throughout their time together. My instant thought is: “then you’re obviously not communicating about anything important“.
Abuse is NOT just Conflict!
When I say that conflict in a relationship is normal, I must qualify that. What isn’t healthy or normal, is abuse! Emotional abuse, mental abuse, and physical abuse are all about control and power. Power-wrenching, controlling, bullying and infantile assaults against another are never ever acceptable or justifiable. They isolate the victim, destroy self-belief, and ruin families. They also illustrate the psychopathology of the abuser.
Tools for Healing Relationships
To develop or maintain a healthy relationship, strategies for healing are part of the toolkit that you need to have on hand. Those strategies will include:
- taking responsibility for your own behaviour
- acknowledging your faults
- being self-aware
- building your emotional intelligence
- understanding what an apology is/isn’t
- expanding your capacity for forgiveness
- knowing how to ask for and recognise forgiveness
- learning what type of healing is most effective in your unique couple life
So how is your toolkit? A bit under-developed in some/any of those areas? Then, keeping your eye out for articles about healing here on the Happy Relationships Blog will be worth your while.Click To Tweet