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You in Your Relationship – a Haven of Opportunity

There are only 2 important people in your version of “Us”. You and your partner. For that “us” to work, you’ve got to be all-in. There’s no half-way! That’s why it’s so important to focus on You in Your Relationship. Because, it is in our couple relationship that we get the best chance to develop as a real human.  Doesn’t being a human of quality, consistency, empathy, and compassiMan sits on a wall high above a valley in silent contemplation. Your Relationship needs regular self-review and contemplationon sound tempting?

It’s there where we need to be at our most excruciatingly honest. It’s there that we learn to share, like we never had to with our siblings. It’s there we find out just what it takes to compromise, to love unconditionally, to forgive, to offer and receive healing, to persist, to support, to offer strength – even when there seems none left.

Our relationship is our haven for self-development.  With safety, we can work our way through some of our fears, selfishness, and the parts of us that we hide away in shame. Because, it’s where we get to really grow up. (If, we are brave enough!) It’s where we find fulfillment by being seen for who we truly are.

Each of you contributes to the sum total of your “Us” in different ways, physically, emotionally, socially, domestically, sexually. On any given day, you each contribute, with different levels of: energy, love, empathy, respect and commitment. So, if the Real You isn’t what shows up every day for your Lover, then your absence is pretty conspicuous!

For you to show up, with integrity and honesty, as the Real You in Your Relationship, requires some courage, some self-knowledge, some self-responsibility and some self-discipline.

So Which “You” Do You Bring to Your Relationship?

Do you show up as the Pretend You? A person in a mask who is too scared to reveal the Real You to your lover? Is that how you want to be in your relationship?

Nah! I didn’t think so. You’ve been that Pretend You elsewhere, haven’t you? Maybe at work? Maybe in other relationships, where it just didn’t feel safe enough to show the Real You? But, that’s not at all satisfying, is it?

What’s the Benefit to Improving the You in Your Relationship?

You’ve chosen to be with this person sitting opposite you/sleeping beside you. And that partner you chose, REALLY WANTS the Real You. Because that’s what you said/implied in youA bride and groom arm-in-arm, like you were at the start of your relationship - connected and committedr vows or in your agreement to share your lives together. So do you really have a choice about showing up as the Real You?

And let’s face it, the only person you can change in your relationship is YOU. So if your Relationship Mojo needs tweaking, polishing or nurturing, then someone has to start being the “hero”. Someone has to show some guts and take action. And you can’t make that someone be your partner. No-one can “make” anybody else do anything! So focusing on improving the relationship is up to you!

If you can see the need for improvement, then it’s your responsibility to take action and lead the way.  More often than not, your changes shift the dynamics of the relationship, and changes flow both ways!

At Relationship Mojo we’re about helping you find ways and courage to discover how to be the Best You possible and how to get/sustain the courage needed to be the Real You in Your Relationship.

 

Links to popular articles that will help You in Your Relationship can be found below.